Why am I not ambitious enough??

Being sick with viral has made me question myself. Most of my life I have either been good at something to begin with or have easily learnt it. The only thing I ever really worked hard at was maths, also because I loved it. Then it got me to think that I haven't actually wanted anything badly ever. Everything always falls in place magically all by itself. I was never the go getter to begin with. In fact as I can remember I have always been perfectly happy with the way things are at the moment at any moment.

Given all this I read posts with people who have just started running clocking in 6 miles/hr. I feel really happy for them and also wonder what is the matter with me. I am questioning myself if I can actually do this. I don't know if I can actually complete this marathon in time.

Okay I'm editing this post, of course I can do it. we can do it! :D:D back to interval training starting tomorrow.

No 22 mile run for me :(

I woke up in the middle of the night on sunday with a terrible headache which later also turned into a ear infection. Missed the 22 mile run. Today went to doctors as I still had a heavy head and closed ear and a runny nose and guess what the doctor told me, I have a viral flu. I also had a fever which I was unaware of, as I am generally a little warm anyways. Came home from work craving warm tomato soup but with no energy to make some. Thought I would make tea and we are fresh out of milk. I think I should sleep now. Perfect time to fall sick :(

41 days to go: 20 mile run

As promised I did attend last weeks wednesday and friday's training runs. I was exhausted before both of these but this is no time to get lazy. Legs hurt, but come on who am I to complain. Other people are putting in way too much effort and they don't complain.

Anyways, I had a talk with Zak and Sanjay and  they both mentioned that I need to improve my diet. Not enough nutritious food leaves me tired. So yesterday I went shopping and I made this awesome soup with vegetables like onion, tomato, green and red bell peppers, mushroom, kale, spinach, broccoli, spring onion, shell pasta and bulgar.

Today we were supposed to start run early but we overslept and started run with others. I have no idea how but we completed 20 miles today. I forgot to turn on my mapmyrun map in the beginning and Harsh lost his battery so we don't have exact details but there was this lady who was running with us and she told us that we ran a little over 20 miles with a pace of 15.10 mins/mile.

Need to do better. Ever since we started running we are sort of obsessed with it and as the days for the marathon get nearer thats all we can talk of. Hope everything turns out well. Touch wood.

48 days to go.. 18.44 mile run

Today I ran after 2 weeks. We did run 8 miles on last 24th but thats when the cramps hit me again after the 7th mile. I'm a funny runner when I start actually running, my hands go loose, my stride length increases and I actually start enjoying the run.. I wish I could run like that for all of 26 miles but I can't. Reason -  I don't train enough.

That brings me back to todays run. If I can just say that I felt amazing until the 13th mile. Thats when, you guessed it right, the cramps hit. Instead of giving up I kept running today. Harsh told me a story whose gist says that an injured tiger is more dangerous as it gives 150%. He compared me to an injured tigresses. I went along with this joke. To set things straight Harsh has retracted his statement about me being a tigresses and has now declared that I am a vegetarian sheep :)

Anyway this was the funny part. After 14.79 miles I had given up. I switched off my mapmyrun app and sat on the grass. I wanted to give up. Thats unacceptable to my idealistic husband. His words "We never quit. Completing what we started is most important." We walked for the rest of the distance. In the end, I could barely feel anything, it still hurt but we had done it. We made everyone wait for us, which was not at all good and we feel guilty as ever for it. But it means a lot that they stayed. The advice we receive from them is crucial and their support is what has kept us going.We took 5 hours but we completed 18 miles. Not proud of it. Not ashamed of it either.

My latest physical says I have some condition that basically makes my body feel tired most of the times.   It also accompanies with a host of other effects, my body cannot utilize all the nutrients that I pump into it. Basically my essential hormones are all acting crazy. After repeated tests I am still waiting for the final verdict.

So far so good, I will record my wednesday and friday workouts. Very little time left, need to train better.

14 mile run: Embarrassed!

Everything was going fine, I was running slowly again and had just started picking up speed after mile 2. I was sprinting and thought I would do well. Took gu at mile 5 and felt no change or burst of energy. But kept running constantly at a slow constant pace. Then I think it was mile 11 when I had this sharp spasm like pain in my lower abdomen. I ignored it and kept running. The pain never stopped and its intensity kept getting worse. At one point I just wanted to quit. I wanted to quit the race and the training altogether. I have had pain everywhere else in my body, sharp shooting pains coming from hips, shins hurting, knees hurting, stomach cramps, headaches, sore blistered toes and ankles.. Never ever ever had I felt anything like this. I thought okay this is a signal, somethings  wrong with me. I walked the rest of the distance only later to find out it was common. I didn't know if I should feel relieved or cry at my stupidity. But cry I did. And I could not help it. I had imagined the worst and until I get a check up I won't be convinced..

I was pretty put out by the whole incident. Harsh in his funny way convinced me that there's nothing to worry about and google helped too. The worst part is I have a new nick name, cramp baby. Seriously! You want to make fun of me when I am at my lowest! :) anyways I am determined to get stronger even if it means running everyday to build strength. 

Just this one year, I want to run as much as I can. I'm not the best at it, not even good at it but this is something I want to do this year. Please help me God.

Something's the matter

Hmmm I have been MIA all this days. I had too much going on in my life. Work, runs, yoga, house, home, reading, family, and commitments.. Reading is almost non existent and most Saturdays are dedicated to it.. Saturdays are our day.. It is dedicated to rest, home, family, food and reading.. While some lucky people enjoy their afternoon siesta, I take the time to catch up on my reading.. 6 weeks for 4 books is a pace slower even compared to my running :)

Back to running, yeah I missed 2 Sunday runs and have been irregular to the interval training and Friday runs.. If there's such a thing as chronic fatigue, then that's what's bothering me for over a week now.. I find myself grasping my breath for no reason, have regular headaches, upset stomach, have thrown up a couple of times and in general feel exhausted.. It's not food poisoning.. I don't know what it is. I try to sleep for adequate time but when I wake up its like I never slept. I don't know.. Maybe it's food, I need more nutritious food.. But I eat yogurt daily, eat lots of fruits and berries, have started eating eggs more than I usually do. I don't know. I seem to be complaining a lot and have started irritating my own self.. No more complaining.. Maybe it's just psychological.. 

On another note, I need to focus on my speed.. I'll do some research and get back.. Until then, buck up N.

You know this one day..

You know this one day this lady who could not even run half a mile actually completed a 16 mile run! Yes she did and she never looked back.. She went on to run more long distances, she ran 14, 15 miles the coming Sundays and she was proud of herself. Her time totally sucked though :) but hey she has a goal set in her heart and if she works really hard I'm sure she'll do much better. 

It wasn't easy though, she hurt her knee and her shins hurt like crazy.. The last few miles are torture and she drags her feet, yes literally! So far so good.. Half way there. Another half to go.